Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize