I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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