The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize