he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
