i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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