So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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