He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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