I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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