I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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