im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
