I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
