Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
