school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
