either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
