If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
