They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
vagina is talking i cant
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
