You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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