physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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