Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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