who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
