I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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