Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
