Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
