The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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