i will never coherently bang her
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
