hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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