we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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