dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
