I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize