It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
