Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
