and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
