Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
