Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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