making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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