I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
