I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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