dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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