its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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