and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
