There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
