he shaved USA in his pubs
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
