Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
