I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
