she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
