haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
