I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
