I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
