Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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