Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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