hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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