My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
