he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
