the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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