Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize