I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
