he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
