Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
