What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
