What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
