Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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