im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
