Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
