i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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