would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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