Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
