did you get engaged???
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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