I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
