FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
did you just send me my own nude
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
